Dark humor (NSFW Allowed)

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Dazz

Active Member
3 October 2016
370
94
28
24
Roermond, The Netherlands
Species
Swiss Shepherd
Relationship status
Single. Not looking.
Gender
Male
#1
Post all your dark and nasty jokes here.

I'll kick us off with a classic

I love my wine the way I love my women. 12 Years old and locked in my basement.
 

Neo

Active Member
17 June 2017
8,207
20
38
Russia
Species
Black Dire Wolf
#2
Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

She had no arms....


Why didn't lucy get helped up?

Because she had no friends...


Knock knock!

Who's there?

Not Lucy...

_________________________________________________

What do a dildo and Tofu have in common?
meat substitutes


What links prostitutes and bungee jumping?

if the the rubber breaks your dead.
 

Dazz

Active Member
3 October 2016
370
94
28
24
Roermond, The Netherlands
Species
Swiss Shepherd
Relationship status
Single. Not looking.
Gender
Male
#3
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
 

Dazz

Active Member
3 October 2016
370
94
28
24
Roermond, The Netherlands
Species
Swiss Shepherd
Relationship status
Single. Not looking.
Gender
Male
#4
“Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?”

“It’s Dave!”


“Dave who?”


Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother’s Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
 

SalemWox

New Member
8 June 2019
12
0
1
25
Relationship status
Single
#7
going to hell for this one... What's good about fucking twenty eight year olds... there's 20 of them...

You can't write 'advertisements' without semen between the tits.
you can spell therapist with out the rapist!
 

Sid _burn

Well-Known Member
3 October 2016
2,638
61
48
26
Laporte Indiana
Species
Dragon
Gender
Male
#9
What word starts with M and ends with Arriage and is a mans favorite thing?

Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
 

SalemWox

New Member
8 June 2019
12
0
1
25
Relationship status
Single
#10
you know most people say puns are the lowest form of comedy, But I think the lowest form is... murder
 

SalemWox

New Member
8 June 2019
12
0
1
25
Relationship status
Single
#11
you wanna know how to make copper wire? have two Jews fight over a penny.

you know what's bad about sending your kids to Jewish camp... they don't come back.

you know what's worse than being a Jew in a concentration camp... being a black Jew cause now you have to sit at the back of the oven.

I'm sorry was that World War too soon?

why do white people always have head aches... cause they're too lazy to pick the cotton out of the aspirin bottle.

why do white people own so many pets... because they’re not allowed to own people anymore.

how do white guys satisfy their wives... they hire a pool boy.

why don’t people tell white jokes... they want to keep their jobs.

why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve... because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

what do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common... they are both black people with white faces.