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Within the forest's fog- white timberwolf's thoughts. [nsfw]

White Timberwolf Dec 22, 2016

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  1. White Timberwolf

    White Timberwolf dddd

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    What happens when a person prepares to become something for the entirety of their life, only to break and fall apart? That's simple. They become hollow, a mere husk of who they were. Visibly whole, but inside shattered like mirror glass.

    I say this because only now to I feel like I have started to rise from what I was training myself to do for a lifetime, and even now I struggle. My history isn't a secret or something I won't speak of, but it's a wound to my soul that healed at the cusp, but never closed. I hate falling asleep, since I either see the events that led to my downfall, or I see the blackness that seems like my future. I worry that my family wants nothing to do with me once I unveil what I hold deep, but my fear of abandonment from them forces me to put on a smiling mask and bludgeon my emotions even deeper.

    When in throngs of people my sight clears a path for me, as if a herd of prey sees an apex predator walking amongst them. I'm not the most impressive figure to see, being 5 foot 7 and 140-odd pounds of dense muscle, but even the largest of people that seem to have even a smidge of self-preservation skirt away.

    Most days, I'm fine with that. But on the rare few, the days that I fight to hold my emotions in check, I want to know that there's at least a few that are willing to stay by my side and see the wounds that penetrate deep, to help heal them even a bit more than what I can do alone.

    ........ Damn it, I fucking despise myself for this weakness, but I refuse to accept that I cannot do what I once dreamed of doing. And that's something I still seek to do. To become.

    -White Timberwolf
     
  2. Sapphire

    Sapphire dddddd

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    Awww, White. I don't know what it is worth, but you can always talk to me if you ever need to talk to someone. I know what it is like to feel alone, and struggle against one's demons. Our problems would be different, of course, but they still eat away at us and still need to be dealt with. I don't know why people would be scared of you, though; your not a bad guy, and I know that I wouldn't be afraid of you.

    Anyway, you can talk to me should you ever wish to. :smile:
     
  3. White Timberwolf

    White Timberwolf dddd

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    I appreciate the offer Sapphire.
     
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