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When seeing something that reminds me of my past, or when feeling strong emotional pain, my heart quivers in my chest and starts to feel very hot, and I feel like something is running down my chest, like blood. Tonight I feel that again as I torture myself by looking at things I know are painful for me, but I do it anyway. Like opening an old wound.
Any time I'm away from my Baby girl, Ivy, I feel alone, I can't wait for the time I get to be with her forever and I will never have to worry about being away from her. I love her with everything and will sacrifice everything I have for her and will sacrifice myself to make sure she's happy.
The first use of a brand new controller makes me strangely giddy. I feel guilty taking it out of the packaging, but feeling it in my hands, unused and crisp, feels...satisfying. Won't last though, before long it'll be broken in and I'll be tossing it around like any other. But it's always a weird excited feeling, taking one out for the first time.