July is Disability Awareness month!
There are a great many difficulties individuals with disabilities face in everyday life which many others are never made aware of. Physical, mental, and psychological disabilities can be incredibly debilitating while at times remaining almost invisible to observers. Often disability is depicted as being restrained to a wheelchair for movement or relying on a service dog for support, but often disabilities are "hidden" and so to they are hidden from our minds and hearts.
Speaking for myself, I have a rare disability which is entirely unobservable. For many years I complained about severe pain to my parents and the other adults in my life to no avail until I was eventually able to convince my father to take me to our family doctor. Eventually after a number of tests, I underwent a diagnostic surgery and was told about my specific condition. This started around the age of fourteen for me. If my own parents couldn't tell something was wrong with me in spite of my constant complaints, how could anyone else? Every single person I meet in life is genuinely shocked if/when I tell them of my disability and very few seem to ever understand the extent of my difficulties. I have met only a single person who could understand what my disability is like, but to a lesser degree. She too had the same condition but was far less severe, and I only discovered she had it as well when I asked her to pause for a moment to let me rest during a tour of the building I was visiting. What had become a critical difficulty for me was not even beginning to be an issue for her, and she had the same thing!
This is terribly all too common for many individuals, whether physical disabilities or mental & psychological disabilities. Not only are accessibly supports infrequently provided as needed for many, they are often not made available at all for everyone who genuinely needs them. For non-visible disabilities especially so there is very often a degree of stigma in seeking help or utilizing the available resources. As a personal anecdotal example, when I use handicap parking, sit in disabled-priority seating, or ride elevators and escalators over staircases I usually get a lot of stares. Some people can be very impolite about me using these supports when I don't "look disabled."
Society has a moral obligation to provide assistance to those who require it. What I would some day hope to see is a greater awareness of the difficulties individuals may face in their lives and a reduction of the stigmas and discrimination surrounding the disabled. The social stigma surrounding disabilities is a major issue ranging from the healthcare system to everyday life and even employment discrimination. It's important to understand disability isn't always being bound to a wheelchair or having difficulties with written words or sudden loud noises. Life is difficult, and it's difficult for everyone. We should try to make things just a little easier when we can. After all, anyone can become disabled in their lives, from sudden incidents to aging.
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My older brother has the same condition, though he's almost entirely asymptomatic. He's only experienced symptoms a couple of times to my knowledge. Before the first time he used to think we had it the same and I was just weak and he was strong, and then suddenly he couldn't get out of his car because he'd hurt himself too badly. At this time he was a young teenager, I think, and he needed help from our mother to get out of the vehicle all the while crying in pain. One of my earlier memories is something of a similar situation, only I was far younger and no one was ever there to help me. I hurt my legs in gym class in early elementary school and sat on a bench along the wall. Just sat there for hours. My class left, another class came and went, and sitting in an empty gym I eventually I decided I couldn't just stay there anymore. So little young me I stood up as best I could and cried my eyes out from the agony. And then I walked back to class alone. I don't think my brother was weak for it, I just think he didn't understand. Really, no one did. What he felt that one time was something I had gone through countless times ten years before he ever felt it once, but all the while he thought he knew what it was like. So when he finally got himself hurt the way I did, he finally realized maybe he didn't actually know. Sometimes I wonder what he must think about it now.
Sometimes I think it might have been for the better that I was born with this disability. Living with something like this, something both very painful and so very "othering" really changes a person. I don't know who I might have been if things were different or who I might be if suddenly all my symptoms were gone forever. All the things I never got to do and never will, all the situations it caused me, all the times I had to explain it to someone, it makes me seem both an oddity and a novelty at times and a burden at others. I'm much more aware of it than people seem to think sometimes. So many times someone took it upon themselves to accompany me during some long excursion somewhere, stopping with me when I needed to rest and moving on when I was ready. In a sense I appreciate the gesture, but it can be a little infantilizing. Nothing can be done and no one knows what to do, so someone always ends up sticking with me the whole while kinda just awkwardly there next to me, like I need help or that I might be left behind. At times like these, I wish more people understood what it's like to go through.
My brother and I are very different people. Despite everything and all the similarities of our lives we have more differences than similarities between ourselves. I have been hospitalized twice due to my condition, both times from a similar incident. I caused it myself out of stupidity and was effectively immobilized for a week and change. My brother has also been to the hospital once, though as I understand it wasn't as physically debilitating for him. Not sure what happened but he didn't go to the ER for a while so it must not have been that bad. It was me first, then him, then me again. During the second time around my father was with me visiting in the hospital, and he mentioned how I was always so nice to the nurses and staff caring for me and how my brother really wasn't. I don't think the only thing that made he and I such different people was the severity of my disability and his lack there of, but I do believe it did make me a very different person. If he had been through what I went through before, would he have been nicer to the hospital staff?
I once saw an interview with an old blind monk who said he thanked God for leaving him blind, for he was "sure that He let this happen for the good of [his] soul." I often think about this and how I might be the same. I know to the less religious it sounds like a coping mechanism, but I do believe it made me a better person. [At least compared to my brother, haha.] I am not always kind, I am not always gentle. With my disability I am completely harmless, entirely incapable of unassisted violence. Even now with some variety of weapons I am much more intimidating than I am capable. When I was younger and smaller though, I was not like this. I raised a more than a little Hell and I was violent towards others and the world around me. I was only a young, dumb, emotional child, not a real danger to anyone, but lashing out was the only way I had to deal with my emotions for a long time. Even as a teenager I was still physical towards objects. I had, or perhaps have, a temper that has bit me back more than once. The older I grew and the bigger I became, the more debilitating my disability became such that physical responses became progressively more unfeasible. Now as an adult, I don't really even posses the emotional capability for meaningful violence anymore. I'm a very good shot with a rifle, but I would not even shoot certain items without guilt.
I think because of everything that happened to me because of this disability, physically and emotionally, I became a better, stronger person. Quieter, calmer, more rational, and certainly a bit tougher. It changed my life to be born this way, and though I wish I never was I thank God for the betterment of my soul.
Words are not enough to understand my condition. It is only one rare disability almost no one has ever heard of, and yet somehow this sentiment is not nearly as rare. Life is hard enough as it is, living with a disability doesn't help it. If more people understood what disability is like and how fundamentally life-altering it can be for some, we might someday make things just a little bit easier.
Thanks for reading my post. Hopefully my anecdotes don't wear thin on the message. Though it sometimes may seem like it, I don't mean for everything to be caught up in one little box. Physical disability has very many forms and is only one of many ways a person's life and wellness can be impeded. Some dear friends of mine suffer from mental disabilities who deserve support just the same. My best friend cannot solve even very simple puzzles due to a brain injury and his brother's dyslexia is like another language when talking with text. To all my friends and furs and their loved ones with disabilites, my heart and support goes out to you. Even if we can't always see it, and even though we don't always know exactly what you might be going through, there are always people out there who understand what it's like to draw a bad hand in life. Hopefully next year we'll have moved a little bit further!
There are a great many difficulties individuals with disabilities face in everyday life which many others are never made aware of. Physical, mental, and psychological disabilities can be incredibly debilitating while at times remaining almost invisible to observers. Often disability is depicted as being restrained to a wheelchair for movement or relying on a service dog for support, but often disabilities are "hidden" and so to they are hidden from our minds and hearts.
Speaking for myself, I have a rare disability which is entirely unobservable. For many years I complained about severe pain to my parents and the other adults in my life to no avail until I was eventually able to convince my father to take me to our family doctor. Eventually after a number of tests, I underwent a diagnostic surgery and was told about my specific condition. This started around the age of fourteen for me. If my own parents couldn't tell something was wrong with me in spite of my constant complaints, how could anyone else? Every single person I meet in life is genuinely shocked if/when I tell them of my disability and very few seem to ever understand the extent of my difficulties. I have met only a single person who could understand what my disability is like, but to a lesser degree. She too had the same condition but was far less severe, and I only discovered she had it as well when I asked her to pause for a moment to let me rest during a tour of the building I was visiting. What had become a critical difficulty for me was not even beginning to be an issue for her, and she had the same thing!
This is terribly all too common for many individuals, whether physical disabilities or mental & psychological disabilities. Not only are accessibly supports infrequently provided as needed for many, they are often not made available at all for everyone who genuinely needs them. For non-visible disabilities especially so there is very often a degree of stigma in seeking help or utilizing the available resources. As a personal anecdotal example, when I use handicap parking, sit in disabled-priority seating, or ride elevators and escalators over staircases I usually get a lot of stares. Some people can be very impolite about me using these supports when I don't "look disabled."
Society has a moral obligation to provide assistance to those who require it. What I would some day hope to see is a greater awareness of the difficulties individuals may face in their lives and a reduction of the stigmas and discrimination surrounding the disabled. The social stigma surrounding disabilities is a major issue ranging from the healthcare system to everyday life and even employment discrimination. It's important to understand disability isn't always being bound to a wheelchair or having difficulties with written words or sudden loud noises. Life is difficult, and it's difficult for everyone. We should try to make things just a little easier when we can. After all, anyone can become disabled in their lives, from sudden incidents to aging.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My older brother has the same condition, though he's almost entirely asymptomatic. He's only experienced symptoms a couple of times to my knowledge. Before the first time he used to think we had it the same and I was just weak and he was strong, and then suddenly he couldn't get out of his car because he'd hurt himself too badly. At this time he was a young teenager, I think, and he needed help from our mother to get out of the vehicle all the while crying in pain. One of my earlier memories is something of a similar situation, only I was far younger and no one was ever there to help me. I hurt my legs in gym class in early elementary school and sat on a bench along the wall. Just sat there for hours. My class left, another class came and went, and sitting in an empty gym I eventually I decided I couldn't just stay there anymore. So little young me I stood up as best I could and cried my eyes out from the agony. And then I walked back to class alone. I don't think my brother was weak for it, I just think he didn't understand. Really, no one did. What he felt that one time was something I had gone through countless times ten years before he ever felt it once, but all the while he thought he knew what it was like. So when he finally got himself hurt the way I did, he finally realized maybe he didn't actually know. Sometimes I wonder what he must think about it now.
Sometimes I think it might have been for the better that I was born with this disability. Living with something like this, something both very painful and so very "othering" really changes a person. I don't know who I might have been if things were different or who I might be if suddenly all my symptoms were gone forever. All the things I never got to do and never will, all the situations it caused me, all the times I had to explain it to someone, it makes me seem both an oddity and a novelty at times and a burden at others. I'm much more aware of it than people seem to think sometimes. So many times someone took it upon themselves to accompany me during some long excursion somewhere, stopping with me when I needed to rest and moving on when I was ready. In a sense I appreciate the gesture, but it can be a little infantilizing. Nothing can be done and no one knows what to do, so someone always ends up sticking with me the whole while kinda just awkwardly there next to me, like I need help or that I might be left behind. At times like these, I wish more people understood what it's like to go through.
My brother and I are very different people. Despite everything and all the similarities of our lives we have more differences than similarities between ourselves. I have been hospitalized twice due to my condition, both times from a similar incident. I caused it myself out of stupidity and was effectively immobilized for a week and change. My brother has also been to the hospital once, though as I understand it wasn't as physically debilitating for him. Not sure what happened but he didn't go to the ER for a while so it must not have been that bad. It was me first, then him, then me again. During the second time around my father was with me visiting in the hospital, and he mentioned how I was always so nice to the nurses and staff caring for me and how my brother really wasn't. I don't think the only thing that made he and I such different people was the severity of my disability and his lack there of, but I do believe it did make me a very different person. If he had been through what I went through before, would he have been nicer to the hospital staff?
I once saw an interview with an old blind monk who said he thanked God for leaving him blind, for he was "sure that He let this happen for the good of [his] soul." I often think about this and how I might be the same. I know to the less religious it sounds like a coping mechanism, but I do believe it made me a better person. [At least compared to my brother, haha.] I am not always kind, I am not always gentle. With my disability I am completely harmless, entirely incapable of unassisted violence. Even now with some variety of weapons I am much more intimidating than I am capable. When I was younger and smaller though, I was not like this. I raised a more than a little Hell and I was violent towards others and the world around me. I was only a young, dumb, emotional child, not a real danger to anyone, but lashing out was the only way I had to deal with my emotions for a long time. Even as a teenager I was still physical towards objects. I had, or perhaps have, a temper that has bit me back more than once. The older I grew and the bigger I became, the more debilitating my disability became such that physical responses became progressively more unfeasible. Now as an adult, I don't really even posses the emotional capability for meaningful violence anymore. I'm a very good shot with a rifle, but I would not even shoot certain items without guilt.
I think because of everything that happened to me because of this disability, physically and emotionally, I became a better, stronger person. Quieter, calmer, more rational, and certainly a bit tougher. It changed my life to be born this way, and though I wish I never was I thank God for the betterment of my soul.
Words are not enough to understand my condition. It is only one rare disability almost no one has ever heard of, and yet somehow this sentiment is not nearly as rare. Life is hard enough as it is, living with a disability doesn't help it. If more people understood what disability is like and how fundamentally life-altering it can be for some, we might someday make things just a little bit easier.
Thanks for reading my post. Hopefully my anecdotes don't wear thin on the message. Though it sometimes may seem like it, I don't mean for everything to be caught up in one little box. Physical disability has very many forms and is only one of many ways a person's life and wellness can be impeded. Some dear friends of mine suffer from mental disabilities who deserve support just the same. My best friend cannot solve even very simple puzzles due to a brain injury and his brother's dyslexia is like another language when talking with text. To all my friends and furs and their loved ones with disabilites, my heart and support goes out to you. Even if we can't always see it, and even though we don't always know exactly what you might be going through, there are always people out there who understand what it's like to draw a bad hand in life. Hopefully next year we'll have moved a little bit further!
