Things You'd Never Hear (NSFW allowed)

[Faust]

I used to love this game on 'Mock the Week'. Think of a scenario, then give an example of something that a person in that scenario would be very unlikely to say. Feel free to use a previously-used scenario, or come up with a new one if you prefer; either is good. For example:

Things you'd never hear in a Star Wars movie:
"Bugger the force Luke, just bung a rock at it!"

 

[Mambi]

Things you never hear in a Quentin Tarantino movie:

"Everyone, please! This is silly...let's all put down our guns, and calmly talk about our feelings over some chai tea"
"Long boots and socks for everyone! After all, toes are disgusting!"
"I respect you completely as my equal, my dark-skinned friend."
"No time for chit-chat about meaningless pop-culture stuff, just get me my sword NOW please!"

 

[Faust]

Things you never hear in Games Workshop:

"Ok steady on, how would he even LIFT that sword?"
"Hold on, we've not exhausted all the diplomatic options yet."
"Stop being an Edgelord, Garry"
"Hello there miss."