MewGenics

Firuthi Dragovic

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31 December 2022
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New York (NOT City)
So... the game about cat breeding and legacies, that Edmund McMillen wanted to make for years.

While there's so much randomness and risk, and the combats can be brutal if you're inattentive, breaking the combat is often fairly straightforward as well. So far. I'm still in the first act, so I've got a lot to go here.

I am going to be logging this one for sure. This is going to be an interesting one to take notes on.
 
Expeditions 0-2: Days 1-10
It Starts!


You remember our venerable house, opulent an-

Oh, wait, no, wrong house. It's a one-floor sty in the middle of Boon County that I just bought this time. And I wonder what I got myself into, because first day in and I got asked to meet this mad scientist named Thomas A. Beanies.

He experiments on cats. There were three waiting when I got there - Leah, Kalongha, and Boban - and I could only take two with me.

I chose Kalongha and Boban. I don't know what fate awaits Leah, sadly.

Just as I left, I ran into this creepy guy named Butch. Apparently cat fights are extremely common in the area around Boon County and the two cats I just rescued were stuck defending themselves from animals. Including one of Butch's cats, Pebbles.

Once we got back into the house, I met this... flamboyant cat lover named Tink. He's explained the situation with the Boon County cats a little better. The cats here can go on one adventure in their lifetimes. At the end of a day, cats in the house may breed and make kittens, and the kittens take just one day to mature.

I took several days in the house, and Kalongha and Boban made one son - Wiktor. A few days later, Wiktor made a move on Kalongha and the result was Miss Uguette. I also picked up three strays during this time - females Big Momma and Grissy, and male Crevette. In an attempt to temper Wiktor's urges, I sent him to the Alley with the three strays, with some collars that Butch had given me - Wiktor wore the Fighter collar, Big Momma had the Tank collar, Grissy had the Mage collar, and Crevette had the Hunter collar.

I... must admit I should have tracked this expedition better. I remember two things of this one: Maisie and the Radical Rat. Maisie is a stray who will warp into the line of fire of any of the kittens she brings out. The Radical Rat is a mad rodent who throws two bombs every turn and will start catching the entire arena on fire. Crevette came through in the clutch and everyone else limped home after that one.

After this trip I ran into Frank, a bum architect living in the sewers. He... wanted cats in exchange for expanding my house? I sent him Kalongha (to get her away from that creep Wiktor) and he built me an attic - which I will use as a staging area for any kittens, as well as cats who haven't adventured yet. Butch also stopped by to drop off a Cleric collar. And then there's Tink. Tink warned not to let the cats inbreed due to birth defects (too late for that, I've got Uguette) and explained parameters for the house's Comfort (more breeding and less fighting), Stimulation (better inheritance), Mutation (what it sounds like), and Health (worse health = diseased cats). A lot to take in, something I'll address when I can.

Butch says he wants cats who have fought, and Tink says he wants kittens. So cats are currency now? Hoo boy, this is gonna get weird real fast.

Sadly, it seems the adventure only made Wiktor meaner. He actually killed his father Boban! That makes him the oldest cat in the house now.

I picked up three strays: females Yatzy and Myka, and male Mr. Majestic. Even before I could take them on an expedition, Mr. Majestic and Myka made a son - Mr. Fazbearington. With enough cats available, I began another expedition: Uguette as a Tank, Myka as a Mage, Yatzy as a Hunter, and Mr. Majestic wore the new Cleric collar. Mr. Majestic's got some Reach, which is very very good when the basic attack can heal other cats.

Now that I've had a better look at the Alley, there's generally both cats and bugs to fight. I ran into Maisie again, and it appears that taking her down isn't the only way to end the battle. Taking out all the kittens is good enough to make Maisie flee, and Myka's magic abilities - including the devastating 8-way Thunderburst - were up to the task. I also ran into an issue with holy light - basically death lasers from the sky, as Mr. Majestic found out the hard way. He lived, though.

Somewhere along the way I picked up a set of Binoculars. I eventually gave these to Yatzy, who used them to devastating effect to attack almost all the way across the battlefield. The Radical Rat was a lot less of a messy fight with these available. We didn't stop there, though - we had sewer access. There were leeches, farting cats, and... living poops? Boon County is a really weird place.

Somewhere along the way I ran into the Flushmaster. He caused a bunch of tidal waves and, due to a mutation Yatzy got, almost blew Yatzy up. Luckily every cat made it through that, and after Myka got infected with an Eye Worm, we ran into Boris - a very beefy mound of flesh that caused eruptions in the water. Despite all the movement, every cat survived the journey.

Butch had another collar for me when I got home - the Thief collar, for backstabs and looting. I sent Big Momma his way and he offered to upgrade my storage locker - but now he wants cats that have been in either the Sewers or Junkyard. Except I don't have Junkyard access right now - but I do have Caves access. Frank's terrified of that place.

The shopkeeper I'd seen several times on these adventures, Tracy, finally set up shop near my house and wanted elderly cats. I sent Grissy her way, after Grissy got injured in a fight, and I have more access to cat food.

Mr. Majestic and Myka really got it on once we got home. It resulted in three more cats - twin daughters Noel and Princess Dingdong, and son Cabeer. Noel was sent over to Tink and I got... some kind of fancy bow in exchange? Odd. I also picked up two more strays, Yorgi and Meow, both male.

With this, I have a team ready for an expedition to the Caves. After an analysis of stats and special abilities, here's my next party:
  • Meow is the Tank. He has an ability that further boosts Constitution, and has high Constitution with the overall worst stat total, so he drew the short straw.
  • Mr. Fazbearington gets an extra step movement each turn and has a decent stat spread across the board with poor magic capacity. He's overall my best candidate for the Thief in this team.
  • Yorgi has an amazing stat spread for melee combat, and a special spell that builds damage every turn. He has no business around magic though. So he's going to be a Fighter.
  • Princess Dingdong has the highest stat total but it's not distributed well, and she's got the lowest Constitution. She also has an extra Dexterity-based melee attack. I've chosen to shore up her weak defenses and make her my Cleric, even though it weakens her Dexterity special.
As far as shipping off cats away from this house, Wiktor is likely going to be sent to either Tracy or Frank very soon. I'm still mad about his patricide and his earlier creep behavior. I'd hoped his better Strength would get passed on to a cat with a better attitude, but it seems that's not meant to be.

Probably Frank as I want to be able to give certain pairs of cats their own room.
 
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Expedition 3: Days 11-15
Becoming Selective

So I sent out the team I mentioned last time. The Alley, it turns out, has a harder path accessible after facing down Maisie, so I went that route. It's only marginally harder, in truth.

Something I've noticed on this trip is that birds show up every once in a while. It happened with the Flushmaster last time, but now it's happening with some frequency. Yorgi wound up snapping up a lot of them on this trip, and what the birds do is boost the stats of the cat that takes them out for the rest of that battle. Very nice.

Going the hard path opened up the Junkyard. It seems the main attraction of the junkyard is "creep" - some kind of poisoned water that's hard to move through. This is exemplified by the miniboss of the region, the Can Creeper - while in its can, it spreads creep wherever it moves and can only be damaged from the front, but when the can breaks it can only move in or through creep.

In fact, the Junkyard's very much a place where you need to watch your step as there's also cats that spit glass, as well as Sirens - whose call will draw the team forward and heal enemies. Yorgi actually got into a lot of trouble here due to really fast movement - he turned into the off-tank, much to my and Meow's disgruntlement.

The bosses of the Junkyard are Chubs and Nubs. Both use ranged attacks when struck, but otherwise Chubs is a melee and Nubs is a ranged. Good thing Mr. Fazbearington had picked up Distract earlier, which allows him to turn enemies around - it's meant for the Thief's backstabbing nature, but it's really handy because Chubs and Nubs shoot in front of them when they're attacked - I can aim them away from me.

This is also a fight where Nip, an ability Fighters can learn, really shines. Nip inflicts Bruise, which increases the amount of physical damage the target takes. With a little mana regen, Yorgi was inflicting a LOT of Nip on these two.

Clearing this area unlocked the Boneyard, a place Butch knows well. It also drew the attention of someone named Baby Jack, whose Nona is apparently buried in furniture and he wants to sell me that furniture to dig her out. Okay... I think Nona's not going to make it long enough, but whatever, I could use ways to manipulate the rooms. Oh, and Baby Jack wants cats with injuries. He apparently... want to injure them further to make them stronger?

Tracy is now selling a food storage box, and boy howdy am I going to need that! Too bad I don't have the coin right now.

Mr. Majestic and Myka produced three more kittens - son Cheval, daughter Mei, and son Revi. Sadly, that was it for them - Uguette got jealous and killed Myka shortly after Revi's birth. Still, that's a whopping seven kittens, so that's a good start. I sent Mr. Majestic over to Baby Jack, and sent a bunch of cats to Tracy: Wiktor, Yatzy (who kept getting into fights), Crevette, Uguette, Meow, and Mr. Fazbearington. Crevette got one night with Princess Dingdong and produced a son, Bernie, before getting sent off. And Mr. Fazbearington and Princess Dingdong produced a son named Gatinho as well.

I also picked up several strays: males Elmer and Eli, and two ambiguous cats: Standing Still and Gunker. I think both of them are herms though, as Yorgi slept with Standing Still and the result was a daughter named Miko. There was also a cat named Tartiflette somewhere in there, but Mei killed him so I won't bring him up further.

I had to get more selective at this point, not just because keeping over a dozen cats drains resources, but Revi and Mei produced a son named Pingu and I've got to start listening to Tink's warnings more often. So the attic is reserved for Yorgi and Princess Dingdong right now as they're not in the same family tree. Gordinho was the first one borne from them, but I'm starting to run low on food and need more money. So I'm sending another team out:
  • Cabeer has good attack stats, viable Charisma, but the worst Constitution of the team. I'm choosing to shore this up by making him a Cleric, and letting a solid mana pool do the work.
  • Gatinho is the only one of these four that isn't penalized at all. Good attack stats and Charisma, nothing wrong. Sadly, only the base stats get passed down when cats breed, but a cat like this can excel at anything - so I've chosen to make them a Hunter.
  • Miko has a naturally high Constitution, decent attack stats and Speed, and only is penalized a little bit in Luck. I've chosen to offset that by making her a Thief - she has the highest Speed of the team and she'll move lightning-fast on the field.
  • Gunker has solid Constitution and Charisma, but abysmal Luck. I've taken advantage of this by assigning them as a Mage - the class loses out a little on the Constitution but the result is a mage with a good max mana pool.
That's right, no Tank this time. There's specific passives of Tanks that will make them targets more often, but without it they're more of a positioning class. Let's see how this one goes.

I think I want to discuss the issue of cat breeding with Tink later.
 
Expeditions 3-4: Days 16-20
First Defeat

Alright, I've sent out the team with the goal of the Caves.

Today's hazard in the Alley? Bear traps! Positions known at the start of battle but they're hidden after, and if you step on one, you're not moving for this turn or the next! You better believe some of my cats made the mistake of stepping on them.

We also have a new miniboss cat in the Alley - Magnus! No allies here, just an all-out bruiser with chain dashes and a spin attack. Broke one of Cabeer's ribs. I had much more luck with the Radical Rat - a good Bramble Shot trapped him in the corner where I could finish him off at my leisure.

The Sewers had sharks in it this time. It started with the little ones (no I'm not doing the song) and grew to larger Sharkeys, which will pursue bleeding targets. I encountered the Flushmaster again, and there was little trouble there, but I also wound up picking up a stray cat: Roofus McGoofus. A collarless cat, so only marginally good in battle.

Unfortunately, this expedition... completely bombed. Boris wiped everyone out, including the newcomer. I'm more than a little pissed off that this is how it went down. I need to send more min-maxed teams than this if I'm going to have any success... but on the way back from that defeat, some sort of zombified man - claiming he was ME when I said my name to him - brought back a few items. I took the coins, since that's what I was after to unlock the meat locker anyhow. He wants dead cats. So I sent him Tartiflette's corpse and he can retrieve more stuff when I lose it.

With this little setback, I'm going to bring out a couple burner teams. Their goal is the Alley and that's it. I need to collect stuff to beef up before my next attempt. Pingu and Mei produced a son Mortimer, and Yorgi and Princess Dingdong produced a son Freckles - who is a really awesome cat with good Constitution and benefits to everything! Definitely a cat for a mission.

I also picked up a stray: Meredith. She has really good Luck but several bad stats. I immediately sent out several of my worse cats: Revi, Gordinho, Pingu, and Bernie. Cleric, Tank, Hunter, Thief.

I encountered two new opponents in the Alley this time. The first was a miniboss: Lucy. A cat who casts various area-effect spells every turn. Fairly weak, but could escalate quickly. Not this time though.

The second was a new boss: Queen Hippo. A boss that runs around punching your cats, inflicting bruises. However, she only lasts four turns before her heart gives out. She still downed two cats before that happened.

With the money from this expedition, I was able to afford the cat food box to store +40 food. That will help, but I need to ship off cats. I sent all four of the cats that had just fought over to Frank.

I spent a couple days with the cats. I got a new stray Siecke, who Freckles immediately proceeded to bonk and produced a daughter Emiko - who sadly inherited none of Freckles' good stats, so I sent her to Tink. Another ambiguous cat, Svinnica, showed up too. The next night was quite a loud one: Freckles and Siecke produced a son Oliver Jett and a daughter Babydoll, Elmer and Svinnica produced a daughter Jefferina, and Yorgi and Princess Dingdong produced a daughter Jeej. And I got another stray: Brian.

It's time for Yorgi and Princess Dingdong to retire, so I sent them to Tracy, as well as Standing Still and Cheval. Freckles and Siecke are my new attic breeding pair. Sending this many cats over to Tracy resulted in her making a blank collar available. I think I'm done sending cats to her for now - I need to work towards Tink and Frank.

Speaking of which, out of the four new kittens, Babydoll's the only one without a 7 in any stat, so she got sent to Tink. The next night, Mortimer and Meredith produced a very lucky daughter Marigold, whereas Freckles and Siecke produced a son Pacino - who has a fair number of 6's and avoided being sent to Tink on that.

Next team? Well....
  • Jeej inherited a 7 in Constitution and good Strength and Charisma. I'm making her a durable Cleric.
  • Jefferina inherited a 7 in Strength with a 6 in Constitution, but poor mental stats. She's going to be my Tank.
  • Oliver Jett inherited a 7 in Constitution and has poor Strength, but decent Dexterity and Intelligence. He gets to be my Mage.
  • Eli is something of a filler on this team, with no 7's and a little bit of Dexterity - so he's my Thief.
Maybe this time I can actually make it through to the Caves.
 

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