Things You'd Never Hear (NSFW allowed)

[Faust]

I used to love this game on 'Mock the Week'. Think of a scenario, then give an example of something that a person in that scenario would be very unlikely to say. Feel free to use a previously-used scenario, or come up with a new one if you prefer; either is good. For example:

Things you'd never hear in a Star Wars movie:
"Bugger the force Luke, just bung a rock at it!"

 

[Mambi]

Things you never hear in a Quentin Tarantino movie:

"Everyone, please! This is silly...let's all put down our guns, and calmly talk about our feelings over some chai tea"
"Long boots and socks for everyone! After all, toes are disgusting!"
"I respect you completely as my equal, my dark-skinned friend."
"No time for chit-chat about meaningless pop-culture stuff, just get me my sword NOW please!"

 

[Faust]

Things you never hear in Games Workshop:

"Ok steady on, how would he even LIFT that sword?"
"Hold on, we've not exhausted all the diplomatic options yet."
"Stop being an Edgelord, Garry"
"Hello there miss."

 

[Mambi]

Things you never hear in a cult:

"I love exploring other points of view. It really helps me understand our Leader's teachings deeper."
"I'm sorry, but I really shouldn't...Great Alpha says that our bodies are our own and must not be used for carnal pleasures."
"Dig these new cool robes! Each is custom made to match everyone's individual personalities!"
"Hi Mom, yeah I know I just called the other day but you know how much I enjoy talking to you and the family regularly..."
"Hey Sarah...question for ya. Ever think that Lord Gary might be completely full of shit? Yeah? Me too...let's GTFO" <just walks out the door no problem>