Would You Rather...

[Mambi]

Can I ferment the grapes a little first and turn 'em to a nice wine? Wrath wine is the best! They serve it after battles won. Ka-PLAH!!

WYR serve aboard a Klingon ship as a lowly bullied grunt, or a Cardassian ship where you are at all times probably going to be betrayed by everyone?

 

[Spilo]

Cardassians? Aren't they a family of reality TV stars? (doesn't know anything abt Star Trek, sowwy) Anyway, that sounds like the better option, because they can't betray me or Spilo if we've already betrayed them in the first place >:3 "What's this button do presses it"

WYR communicate with ants or communicate with termites?

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

Termites, easily. You know they actually used to make certain woodwind instruments out of trees that were hollowed out by termites? Crazy stuff.



(My mind always blanks on trying to keep these WYR's simple, so here we go.)

Let's say you're in a virtual world a la VRChat or Ready Player One or similar. WYR be permanently restricted to one avatar but get a lot of extra benefits from it, or be able to take infinite avatars but be forced to completely switch avatars every 10 minutes (yes, that means you're going through several dozen every time you sleep as well)?

 

[Ravofox]

Termites, easily. You know they actually used to make certain woodwind instruments out of trees that were hollowed out by termites? Crazy stuff.



(My mind always blanks on trying to keep these WYR's simple, so here we go.)

Let's say you're in a virtual world a la VRChat or Ready Player One or similar. WYR be permanently restricted to one avatar but get a lot of extra benefits from it, or be able to take infinite avatars but be forced to completely switch avatars every 10 minutes (yes, that means you're going through several dozen every time you sleep as well)?

Arrrrrr, as a TF fan me answer must be the latter, arrrrr!!! It be borin t'otherwise, arrrrrr!!!

Arrrrrrrr, would ye filthy landlubber rather be a pirate or a privateer, arrrrrrrrrr?

 

[Faust]

They're basically the same thing. Technically a privateer has a letter-of-marque from the government giving them permission to pirate the ships of that government's enemies, but since other governments didn't recognise those letters, one person's privateer was still another person's pirate. So I think I'd just be a plain old pirate. So long as I still get to sneak into the Governors' parties and seduce their pretty daughters I don't care.

Would you rather be a pirate or a buccaneer?

 

[Mambi]

Well, a buccaneer at least has better weather and nicer fruit?

WYR have saltwater in your eyes or lemon juice? Your new career makes both a new possibility it seems...

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

Well, a buccaneer at least has better weather and nicer fruit?

WYR have saltwater in your eyes or lemon juice? Your new career makes both a new possibility it seems...

Saltwater, no question. I actually looked this up - saltwater dehydrates the eyes (something like 4 times the salt of actual tears), but lemon juice is effectively acid and can cause much more eye damage ("citrus blindness").

Yet another reason pirates sometimes wound up with eyepatches. (Yeah, eyepatches are a lot rarer than you've been told, but if your eye got that screwed up...)



....I can't think of much to keep the pirate theme going, so let's see here...

Ah, let's talk about a possible reward. One of your raids was successful and you scored some loot. You were already able to swipe quite a few tools and ship parts, some trade goods, even scored a few spice jars, and you've got room to take one more type of loot onto the ship.

WYR loot precious metals and gems, or maps of new territories? The sure bet, or the chance at even greater plunder later?

 

[Spilo]

The precious metals and gems should be well enough to last me a lifetime, lol! On the otter paw, collecting all of the maps of new territories only to keep them to myself and have others offer me all the money in the world in exchange for them sounds like the more fun, devilish, idea. That way, I'll be forever rich, and won't waste any more energy searching more precious things... so it's a win-win! Winks >:3

This whole thing sounds like it deserves some kind of celebration, and what better way to celebrate than with a dessert!! So, WYR eat a poisonous white cake or an exploding fruit pie?

 

[Ravofox]

They're basically the same thing. Technically a privateer has a letter-of-marque from the government giving them permission to pirate the ships of that government's enemies, but since other governments didn't recognise those letters, one person's privateer was still another person's pirate. So I think I'd just be a plain old pirate. So long as I still get to sneak into the Governors' parties and seduce their pretty daughters I don't care.

Indeed, and in fact many of the most notable privateers like Francis Drake, Walter Raleigh and William Dampier skirted or outright crossed the boundaries even of their commissions multiple times. People like Raleigh and William Kidd (who was actually a rather pathetic case of a rouge privateer before being retconned to great pirate icon after his death) came to grief when their previously winked at unofficial activities became politically inconvenient and/or influential enemies of theirs used these activities as a reason to have them apprehended.

This whole thing sounds like it deserves some kind of celebration, and what better way to celebrate than with a dessert!! So, WYR eat a poisonous white cake or an exploding fruit pie?

Absolutely the eroding - I mean exploding - fruit pie, just for the SpongeBob points!!

Would you rather settle down, in that noisy college town, on the banks of the old Raritan, or Tune every heart and every voice, n Bid every care withdraw; Let all with one accord rejoice, In praise of Old Nassau?

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Rejoice! (with yogurt ofc)

WYR be forced to listen to the "Barney" theme song or someone slurp soup for 24 hours straight?

 

[Spilo]

Soup!
(it's me who is making slurping sounds, btw. I'm eating the soup :3)

WYR eat beet soup or eat mayo straight out of the can?

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Beet soup...... Mmmmm
WYR begin every sentence with "Hey jerkface," or end every sentence with "Haha, I was just kidding"?

 

[Spilo]

Second

WYR be third or fourth in contests?

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Fourth, it's an even number!

WYR wear really ugly glasses that are the right prescription or ones that look great but are just slightly blurry?

 

[Spilo]

I dunno, I don't wear glasses, even though the crappy skunk vision demands it. Giggles Might as well go slightly blurry but great looking :P

WYR have your feet licked or your butt massaged?

 

[Faust]

Depends who’s doing it. If it’s a sexy young lady then butt please. If it’s a grody old monk then feet.

Would you prefer, after you die, to be pickled or mummified?

 

[Spilo]

After having performed a set of rituals and spells to ensure my return as a cursed skunk mummy that feeds on the souls of the damned to restore his body to peak shape, mummify me baby!

WYP uncover an ancient extraterrestrial organism that arrived millions of years ago on Earth and survived fossilization, or set free a world plague after unearthing a cursed mummy?

 

[metatherat]

I have seen that one movie with the mummy, I think it was called "Vampire" or something. So I know that the world plague might involve locusts. Delicious locusts. So I am picking that one!

A mummy is pissed off because you ate all of his locusts. He's super peevish about it, "I spent years breeding those locusts", that sort of thing. WYR apologize for the locust-eating, or ask him if he has any more delicious insects?

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Sir, do. You have any more delicious locusts for my furpal @metatherat?

WYR be a fartshumper or a fartshumper sign?

 

[Spilo]

Nothing

WYR do nothing or do something