AI Storytime! - FurryPile version

[Faust]

There is a certain kind of mole who, having left a big pile of dirt in the middle of your lawn, starts to worry about who is going to clean that up. Maurice was just such a mole, and he decided to take matters into his own hands, which were covered in dirt. So he dug a small trench into the pile, to get some dirt out of the way, and was then able to put his hands on the sides of the pile to hold the pile up. Then he dug another small trench. And another. And another.

You'd think that this process of digging one trench and then holding the pile up with his hands would have been a little tedious, but the results were startling.

When the pile was finally cleaned up, it had spread into the house. The floors and counters were covered. It had spread into the sinks and toilet bowls. Clumps of dirt had taken hold on the kitchen counter and grown right into a carrot, as well as taking over the kitchen drain. Piles of dirt were everywhere, in the bathroom, in the bathtub, in the sink, on the kitchen counter, inside the refrigerator. When he stood in the kitchen, he was surrounded on all sides by dirt.

Maurice had created the ultimate pile of dirt. It filled every available space. It was an organic invasion.

"Well," he said, surveying his handy work, "I did it."

 

[metatherat]

In today's complicated world, it is hard to find out what you want out of life. But there is an answer! The furry fandom! Just listen to these testimonials:
"Now that I have become an anthropomorphic carrot I no longer have to worry about paying my rent!" - Bill W.
"Anthropomorphic beaver taught me how to get what I want. Just last week I got a new home entertainment system from a nice couple. They're so generous, too! They even offered me somewhere to stay while my new digs were being built!" - Leroy C.
"When I was a human, my love life was dull and boring. But now that I'm an adorable pink bat, I'm on top of the world! I can't wait to see what life brings me next!" - Deborah S.
So why don't you sign up to become an anthropomorphic beast today? Remember, it's not too late to change! Call 1-800-733-7389 today! (Operator service provided by a charitable group of anthropomorphic beasts.)

 

[Faust]

Call 1-800-733-7389 today! (Operator service provided by a charitable group of anthropomorphic beasts.)

That's a roofing contractors in Sheboygan!

al Chroma

Built Up Systems, Coat Metal Roofs, Estimates, Fascia, Gutters, Industrial, Inspections, Insured, Interior Insulation, Metal, Metal Roof Coverings, Roof Coating, Rubber Roof Restoration, Shingles, Siding, Soffit

www.merchantcircle.com

 

[unknownaspect]

That's a roofing contractors in Sheboygan! :D

al Chroma

Built Up Systems, Coat Metal Roofs, Estimates, Fascia, Gutters, Industrial, Inspections, Insured, Interior Insulation, Metal, Metal Roof Coverings, Roof Coating, Rubber Roof Restoration, Shingles, Siding, Soffit

www.merchantcircle.com

Wow, roofing isn't quite paying the bills, they need to diversify.

I suppose it makes good sense, roofers work really well in a furry call center environment.

 

[Faust]

I suppose it makes good sense, roofers work really well in a furry call center environment.

I thought that was 'Woofers'?

 

[unknownaspect]

I thought that was 'Woofers'?

You win.

 

[metatherat]

That's a roofing contractors in Sheboygan!

al Chroma

Built Up Systems, Coat Metal Roofs, Estimates, Fascia, Gutters, Industrial, Inspections, Insured, Interior Insulation, Metal, Metal Roof Coverings, Roof Coating, Rubber Roof Restoration, Shingles, Siding, Soffit

www.merchantcircle.com

Does it say if they are a group of anthropomorphic beasts? I'd hire some anthropomorphic beasts to coat my roof. (that's not an euphemism for anything naughty)

 

[Faust]

Does it say if they are a group of anthropomorphic beasts? I'd hire some anthropomorphic beasts to coat my roof. (that's not an euphemism for anything naughty)

It doesn't say they're NOT a group of anthropomorphic beasts. I reckon it's implied.

 

[metatherat]

Meta the rat hired a group of anthropomorphic beasts to coat his roof, which was a naughty euphemism for his butt. The beasts started out by slathering butter over Meta's butt, followed by some whipped cream, and then some chocolate sauce. One of the beasts made a mistake by mixing chocolate sauce with whipped cream, forming a disgusting brown and white gooey substance on Meta's butt, but Meta didn't mind it.

The beasts then added the fudge to Meta's butt. Two of the beasts added some strawberry and banana toppings to Meta's butt, followed by some sliced cucumbers and broccoli. The next step involved the beasts coating the fudge and toppings with a glaze, followed by a layer of chocolate and peanut butter.

(they later turned down an offer by the US government of $100 for some "unintentionally creepy" drawings of them)

 

[Faust]

The beasts then added the fudge to Meta's butt.

Seems unnecessary...

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Once upon a time there was a rodent detective agency, run by a rat and a mouse, that always solved super rodenty mysteries.They were called, wait for it, Rat & Mouse Detective Agency.
So what happened to the rat and the mouse?

Well, the mouse, being a smart cookie, went on and married a fellow mouse, and got a nice little job. But she always missed her exciting days of crime-solving.
The rat, being a rat, did what rats do. The rat got a flat (as in 2010 a flat in New York is 50% more expensive than 2008’s flat). He had to pay his mortgage and he made a couple of bad investments in companies run by rats. Oh well.

But as it happened, a fellow Rat, also known as Detective Agent, also lost his job. So he started investigating, like he always did, and he investigated who stole money from all those poor people who lost their money because the Rat and the mouse got too

---

Nice little detail on housing prices in New York.

 

[Faust]

A bit of a long one today, but it kept on coming up with great material so I just kept clicking the 'More' button!

One day, Mickey Mouse accidentally knocked over Minnie's purse. "That's odd," he thought to himself, "these look like Goofy's underpants." He thought nothing of it, until the same thing happened again. "That's two times in a row, maybe I should look in there," Mickey told himself, so he reached into the bag, and pulled out... a pair of Goofy's underpants. What's weird about it is that the day before, Minnie had been wearing a dress, so why would her purse be holding Goofy's underpants?

Later that evening, Minnie arrived at her home and immediately noticed a strange noise coming from the living room. She opened the door, only to be greeting by... Goofy's underpants.

"Uh, huh," she thought to herself, "that's strange. Those definitely aren't my underpants."

What on earth could this all mean? Why was her purse holding Goofy's underpants? This was a mystery for the ages.

The next day, Minnie decided to go to the library to solve the case. There, she discovered a woman with glasses sitting in the corner, reading a book about underpants.

"May I help you, Miss Glasses," she asked.

"Well, no, actually, no," replied the woman, "I'm reading this book, so yeah, you can help me, actually." The woman was so distracted by her book that she was not paying any attention to Minnie at all. So, Minnie began to ask her questions, but the woman kept on reading, so she had to find another method to get the attention of the glasses lady. So, Minnie decided to take off her own underpants, put them on the chair next to the woman, and leave them there. The woman kept on reading, so Minnie got up and walked around the library, and then she noticed the woman get up and go over to the chair, and put on Minnie's underpants. Finally, the woman looked up at Minnie.

"Well, thank you very much for taking off your underpants," she said. "I'm from underpants magazine, and I want to do an article on your underpants, because I have been searching the world over, and these are definitely the most interesting underpants I've ever seen." The woman then introduced herself as Goofy, and Minnie knew she had solved the case.

So, why was her purse holding Goofy's underpants? She found out that Goofy had been putting Minnie's underpants on the roof, and that the wind was blowing them into her purse. Now she knew why the bag was holding Goofy's underpants.

 

[unknownaspect]

What is the underpants magazine called and how does one obtain a subscription?

 

[Faust]

What is the underpants magazine called and how does one obtain a subscription?

I reckon that's the title, just 'Underpants Magazine'.

Sounds like a publication that might feature in the final round of 'Have I Got News For You'. They've had some corkers! Cigar Aficionado, Drain Trader, Potato Storage International, Poultry World, Lighthouse Digest, Elevator World, Modern Ferret, Beverage Dynamic, Cranes Today, Teddy Bear Times, Fishkeeping Answers... Why not 'Underpants Magazine'?

Guest Publications

Guest publications that have appeared on Have I Got News For You to date: Wild About Animals Fresh Produce Journal Welding & Metal Fabrication Monthly Meat Trades Journal Heating & Ventilation News Poultry World (referred to as Poultry Weekly by mistake by Angus) Parking Review Big Ones Monthly...

hignfy.fandom.com

 

[unknownaspect]

I reckon that's the title, just 'Underpants Magazine'.

Sounds like a publication that might feature in the final round of 'Have I Got News For You'. They've had some corkers! Cigar Aficionado, Drain Trader, Potato Storage International, Poultry World, Lighthouse Digest, Elevator World, Modern Ferret, Beverage Dynamic, Cranes Today, Teddy Bear Times, Fishkeeping Answers... Why not 'Underpants Magazine'?

Guest Publications

Guest publications that have appeared on Have I Got News For You to date: Wild About Animals Fresh Produce Journal Welding & Metal Fabrication Monthly Meat Trades Journal Heating & Ventilation News Poultry World (referred to as Poultry Weekly by mistake by Angus) Parking Review Big Ones Monthly...

hignfy.fandom.com

Wasn't there a magazine on portable toilets featured on that show? The fact I don't come across those publications in the supermarket is a serious shame.

 

[unknownaspect]

All the fox had to do was switch on the hyperdrive and hit top-speed in the warp, but his whole plan of running a space-pizza and magazine delivery service came to a crashing halt when he noticed the cheese was going off.
Homer's plan had been to use his trusty pizza delivery scooter, powered by the same jet engine that had got him to space in the first place, but all he found in the pantry was half a burnt, smelly lump of mozzarella. The whole plan was sunk and Homer wasn't going to let that fool scaly-face on Earth, get away with it.
The fox was going to have to use his skills to get the drop on the sneaky alien. He had just enough warp-fuel to make a few jumps through the warp, but after that, there was no telling where he might end up.
After searching through the galactic database for a planet he hadn't been to, he found a place called "Chubby-Hipstersville." He remembered reading in some article that this was a place where all kinds of cool-looking humans.

-----------

Is the fox named after the poet or the other guy?

 

[Faust]

Wasn't there a magazine on portable toilets featured on that show? The fact I don't come across those publications in the supermarket is a serious shame.

I think a lot of them are Business-to-Business publications. Series 11 had a magazine called 'Semen World', I'd be very surprised if there wasn't a toilet mag. Let's see.

Season 35, Episode 3: Portable Restroom Operator

There was also Journal of Happiness Studies, Bin Bulletin, the Croquet Gazette, The Tightwad Gazette and Egg Cup World.

 

[unknownaspect]

I think a lot of them are Business-to-Business publications. Series 11 had a magazine called 'Semen World', I'd be very surprised if there wasn't a toilet mag. Let's see.

Season 35, Episode 3: Portable Restroom Operator

There was also Journal of Happiness Studies, Bin Bulletin, the Croquet Gazette, The Tightwad Gazette and Egg Cup World.

Well, the businesses shouldn't be so selfish! I've never thought to look at a whole list of those publications. Haven't watched "Have I Got News For You" in a long while either.

 

[metatherat]

So, why was her purse holding Goofy's underpants? She found out that Goofy had been putting Minnie's underpants on the roof, and that the wind was blowing them into her purse. Now she knew why the bag was holding Goofy's underpants.

Minnie Mouse squeaked in shock. In addition to Goofy's underpants, her purse contained Black Pete's underpants! Suddenly, she remembered why that was: last week she and Black Pete had sex after they broke up in 1937, but they were both still in love, so they did it once more. Minnie removed the panties, and sighed when she remembered how hot and horny Black Pete was that night. If only she had the idea to steal his panties that night. She then stuffed the panties into her backpack and put on her panties again. "That was embarrassing." Minnie said, closing the bag and carrying it in her hand. She then headed to Goofy's room. Once there, she opened the door and saw Goofy on his bed."Hey, Goofy." Minnie said, as she sat next to him."Oh, hey, Minnie." Goofy said, as he woke up. "What are you doing here?""Just came to tell you I love you." Minnie said, leaning in closer to him."Aww, I love you too, Minnie." Goofy said, kissing her. Then, Minnie sniffed Goofy's underpants, and Goofy looked confused.

 

[Faust]

Here's a Spoooooooky one!

Psally the Psychic Psquirrel looked down at the tarot cards she'd just laid out. 'The Fool' three times over, and there's only one in the deck. Her client looked at her expectantly. She took a deep breath and turned to face him.

"Bryant, I need to talk with you for a few moments, alone. Can you step out into the lobby?"

Bryant, who knew what his friends had said of the woman, was a little taken aback. "Sure, Doc," he said. "Whatcha mean?"

"I mean," she said, "I think you need to be somewhere else. If you really love Margo, then you should be at home." She picked up her briefcase and locked the door behind him. Then she took off the garter holding her skirt down, and the top half of her slip, and she put them in the briefcase. And she locked the briefcase.

She turned back to the painting. She was glad she'd brought her glasses. "Oh my," she said. "I'd have sworn it was a landscape before. Can you see what it is?"

She thought she could hear someone laughing softly.

A few minutes later Bryant walked back into the room, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans. "So what was all that about?" he asked. "The Fool three times in a row. What the hell does that mean?"

Psychically, the tarot reader thought to herself, Well, you know. What do you think it means? And psychically she also said, We're about to go into another scene, and it's time to reveal another character. And one character has to reveal something. Let's show them the painting.

As they both looked, the image of the man and woman slowly changed.

Bryant saw it. And he didn't know what to say. His girlfriend was on the beach, on the other side of the ocean, and he was being invited to stay with his girlfriend's sister.