Wait, so that means I can program pigeons to shit on SPECIFIC people's cars to drive them insane! Some people I don't like are about to have an entire flock of pigeons' shit on their car...
So I got a special screwdriver in the mail today, a six prong one for those annoying Microsoft products that have those irritating weird screws in them. It came in this clear plastic pouch, and I couldn't figure out how to get it open. So I just stabbed the screwdriver through the plastic and ripped it apart. I don't know why, but it gave me a chuckle. There's got to be a "correct" way to open the damn package - but why not just DESTROY it, seeing as it's not like I'm ever going to put the screwdriver back in, and am just going to throw the package away after it's out?
I'm intelligent, but not in the way most people want me to be. I'll find a way, don't worry about that. What you should be worried about is my solution to the problem.
I'm intelligent, but not in the way most people want me to be. I'll find a way, don't worry about that. What you should be worried about is my solution to the problem.
I won't lie...it took me a solid 30 seconds to get that joke. I kept reading it over and over like "wha-...", before I finally got it. Nice one.
Classic joke from my childhood that I used to use all the time: what do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Another classic, a follow-up to the last one: what do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call them, they ain't coming to you.
Ground beef.
Another classic, a follow-up to the last one: what do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call them, they ain't coming to you.
I cracked myself up earlier with a sarcastic quote I made up in my head:
"If someone has a problem with me, they can consult my personal complaint department - starting with my middle finger. If that isn't good enough for them, they can consult my ass, instead - which they may kiss, if they are so inclined. And if THAT isn't good enough for them, they can instead consult my foot - which is about to be in THEIR ass!"
"If someone has a problem with me, they can consult my personal complaint department - starting with my middle finger. If that isn't good enough for them, they can consult my ass, instead - which they may kiss, if they are so inclined. And if THAT isn't good enough for them, they can instead consult my foot - which is about to be in THEIR ass!"
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBM2gwJ4luE
(And yes, he was a real candidate - just not a serious one! Here he is again on stage with the previous prime minister)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTrZ0OQKuWk
