See there, @Spilo , it's not just me saying that! We are all unique individuals with different personalities, and we are each fantastic in our own personal ways. If you link desirability or social success to someone else's personality in your mind, you are making things a lot mega harder, and yourself super miserable, because then you start comparing yourself to someone else non-stop and thinking that you need to hammer yourself into their mold in order to gain happiness, and that's like a ginormously daunting task, and probably wouldn't feel fulfilling even if you somehow succeeded at it - you'd likely just end up feeling like an impostor, all the time :(
People clearly honestly like you aplenty, and are happy to do silly furry shenanigans with you! It's just that this weird comparative way of thinking you have internalized is causing you to constantly downplay any attention you get, and play up any attention others get, or express towards each other. It's like you have decided from the beginning that you are a fundamentally unlikeable person, and that is coloring your perception of things without you even realizing it, and leading you to think that others are overlooking you, which leads to you thinking negatively of them. Then you start distancing yourself and pushing others away, and then when they successfully are pushed away you take it as evidence that you were right about them overlooking you! And it becomes this whole cycle of negative reinforcement and negative emotions. You keep doing this, and for some reason you don't seem to be able to really realize that, no matter how many times the cycle repeats, or no matter how much people try to repeatedly make you see it or tell you how damaging this way you constantly compare yourself to others is.
Really, I don't want you to think of me like you do, that I am your opponent or competitor in some social gladiatorial arena. It feels like there is this huge pit between us and you are glaring at me from the other side all the time. I like you, and I just want to have fun with you, like I do with all of my fellowfurs :(
And it's not just me, that's really how everyone else sees places like this forum, I promise: they just want to hang out with their furpals and have fun. They don't even understand how overlooked you feel, the idea that you might feel this way does not even occur to them. They are not trying to be mean, or making a conscious decision to overlook you when they post here about something that does not involve you, they really super aren't. That's just your silly brain being mean that tells you that they are! Please don't keep judging them based on your brain being mean :(
Whirlyskunk, you are a fun and a interesting furpal, and you are that in an unique way. You don't need to try and emulate someone else's personality in order to belong. You absolutely belong as you are, and people giving attention to someone else is not them judging you to be inferior. This is a fun space and we are here to have fun with each other, and that super includes you. You don't have to second guess every social interaction, or, you know, first guess every social interaction. We are all silly furries over here, if there is one fandom where you can likely just be yourself without trying to match some normative ideal it's probably this one. I realize that your way of thinking stems from you being overlooked in your life before, but please try to break out of the mindset nevertheless. Thinking of social life like it's a competition that you need to win at is clearly making you super miserable, and it's super sad to watch :(
Just.... have fun with us, let yourself hang out with us without analyzing every action, please. We all want to have fun with you. Don't start pushing people away again :(
clings to your foot
gives small small cup of yogurt
gives another small small cup of yogurt
