In My Pants

Slam it to the left
If you're havin' a good time
Shake it to the right
If ya know that you feel fine
In your pants
Ha ha
Hai Si Ja
Hold tight

- The real reason the Spice Girls broke up was due to too many lawsuits after people attempted their... uhm... self care tipps.
 
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Early in the morning.

Hooray and up she rises in my pants,
Hooray and up she rises in my pants,
Hooray and up she rises in my pants,
Early in the morning!
 
Do your balls hang low in my pants,
Can you swing them to and fro in my pants,
Can you tie them in a knot in my pants,
Can you tie them in a bow in my pants,
Do you get a funny feeling in my pants,
When they are hanging from the ceiling,
Oh, you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low in my pants.
 
In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned. Heaven sought order, but the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again and yet again as endless aeons wheeled and passed. Time, and the pure essences of heaven, the moisture of the earth, the powers of the sun and the moon, all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation, and it became magically fertile. That first egg was named 'thought'. Tathagata Buddha, the father Buddha, said: "With our thoughts we make the world." Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it then came a stone monkey in his pants.

The nature of monkey was irrepressible!
 
I was tempted to do the entirely of Coleridge's 'Kubla Khan' but thought it would be tedious
so here's the edited highlights:

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree In my pants,
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

A damsel with a dulcimer in her pants
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid
And on her dulcimer she play'd in her pants,
Singing of Mount Abora.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
In their pants,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair in his pants!

Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread:
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drank the milk of Paradise
in my pants.
 
Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off my pants.
 

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