Fortunately this gave rise to some very spicy adult content!
Fortunately, unfortunately
- Thread starter metatherat
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Unfortunately this caused some Goombas to be locked out of General Chat
Fortunately they were only the ones from the dodgy 90's live action Super Mario Bros movie, so nobody really cares.
Unfortunately, you are also here to produce guano and suck neck. And you're all out of neck.
Fortunately Garry the Cave Crayfish had enough of this crap and invented a bat toilet
Unfortunately, he forgot that bats do it upside down. (That's a nice souvenir T-shirt text idea for the bat tourism industry)
Fortunately, that's a fallacy. Bats cling to a perch with their wing claws and turn right-side-up when we poop, or we do it on the wing. If we did it upside down, we'd just be covering ourselves in guano. Vampire bats also don't often bite on the neck. We prefer a more discrete location such as the foot or ankle.
Unfortunately, I am now imagining a vampire movie where the scary vampires go around biting people in the ankles.
Fortunately the ones who enjoy a good ol' foot are very, very happy about this change! Necks certainly weren't spicy enough!
Unfortunately, that doesn't stop 'Nosfera-toe' and 'Count Ankular' from bombing at the box office.
Fortunately, because the extreme movie prices, they still made a killing at the box office
Unfortunately they took "killing" literally and now a dozen possums are dead
Fortunately, oh... wait a minute... nope, they're fine.
Unfortunately they were already put in a cardboard box marked "DED POSSUMS" in an alleyway, and someone posted a picture of them online and it went viral
Fortunately, this means they all get adopted and now have loving homes thanks to the publicity. 
Unfortunately, for the owners who might want to have their yogurt uneaten and wainscoting ungnawed, one of the opossums is me pretending to be a very small opossum.
Fortunately it's me and I didn't really care for that old wainscoting that much anyways ^w^
Unfortunately, I also gnaw up your neighbor's prized collection of priceless antique wainscoting.