NSFW The corrupted wish game, NSFW allowed

[Faust]

Well that's lucky! I just invented a new game called 'Guitar' and you are going to be awesome at it! To be honest, 'Guitar' wasn't the original name I had planned, but 'How Many Live Venomous Animals Can Faustus Stuff Into Your Underpants' wouldn't fit on the box.

I wish to not be acquired by Hasbro.

 

[metatherat]

Granted. Unfortunately, you are tied up in Mattel's basement, where you will be transformed into the new Bat-Barbie.

I wish the Bat-Barbies came with more and wilder hairstyles

 

[xxDisorderly_C0nductxx]

Granted! You really don't want to know what the hair is made out of, though

I wish I had more outfits and accessories for my Bat-Barbie

 

[metatherat]

Granted, but some of them are really weird, involving themes like 'cheese pizza' and 'gloomy superhero'. You are pretty sure they were AI generated.

I wish there was a cartoon series starring Bat-Barbie

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Granted, it's theme tune is incredible and gets stuck in your head for days, but the show sucks.

I wish actual passionate writers worked on Bat-Barbie

 

[xxDisorderly_C0nductxx]

Granted, but unfortunately, passion doesn't necessarily equal talent. A monkey with a typewriter could do better

I wish the Bat-Barbie cartoon had a more diverse cast

 

[Faust]

Granted! Now you're a Bat-Barabie too, as is everyone else who's posted since my last wish. That'll teach the lot of you.

I wish for a Morgan silver dollar.

 

[metatherat]

Okay, but the Morgan is CEO Nwabudike Morgan from Alpha Centauri, and he sends you a petulant comm message.

I wish I had a Bat-Barbie Dream House™ with Dream Hot Tub™ and Dream Yogurt Pantry™

 

[Yakamaru]

Granted, but it's all shitty knockoffs from Mars.

I wish for a Ken doll with the best hair do ever to grace the Earth.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but every ten minutes it honks like a car

I wish I could fly inside a hurricane

 

[Faust]

Granted! ...you know anybody can fly inside a hurricane, right? You just can't control where you land. In this case: horny jail.

I wish for a pawn of my very own, Dragon's Dogma style.

 

[metatherat]

Granted, but it's some online person's version of "kid Goku".

I wish to have one of those Felynes from the Monster Hunter games as my owner, and also pet :3

 

[Spilo]

Granted! But all he feeds you is mämmi flavored yogurt

I wish my tail was fluffier!

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Granted, but now everywhere you go Furpals jump on it and snuggle it, making walking anywhere very difficut!

I wish I could cuddle Spilos fluffy tail!

 

[metatherat]

You can, but it is very, very VERY smelly.

I wish we had some of those Wunderbaum things.

 

[Faust]

Er. Ok. 'Wunderbaum' is German for 'Castor Oil Plant'. So here's a pack of castor oil tablets.
They're going to give you the runs, you know.

I wish for terpsichorean delights to astound the masses.

 

[metatherat]

Okay, but the new fad move that emerges, the ratvolta, only looks charismatic if a rat is doing it. Everyone else who does the move just looks silly, but everyone insists on doing the ratvolta anyway.

I wish I did not eat all of those castor oil tablets before I started dancing :O

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but now you haven't pooped in 2 weeks and you are now three times the size of your former, regular self

I wish I could get all this cereal out of me fur

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Granted, but it requires bathing in milk and now everyone teases you by calling you "Cleaopatra"

I wish I could swim in milk too!

 

[metatherat]

You can. But the milk is the collective milk of all of us in the fandom and who knows where we have been or what diseases we have.

I wish I knew where we have been or what diseases we have.