The Vending Machine Mk. II

[Spilo]

Out goes Meta again, with nothing, as the vending machine rodents ate his clothes, and the machine vending fleas made him lose his fur

In goes the supposed fashion of the 2020s, a copy of Blade Runner (1982) which is set in 2019

 

[unknownaspect]

Out pops a TIME WARP!....BUZZ..Hi! I'm new to furry community! Hello!......BUZZ ......young furs these days, they can't......BUZZ.........

Inserts a TIME PARADOX!

 

[unknownaspect]

Out pops a TIME WARP!....BUZZ..Hi! I'm new to furry community! Hello!......BUZZ ......young furs these days, they can't......BUZZ.........

Inserts a TIME PARADOX!

 

[Spilo]

Out comes two Spilos, created by one of your TIME PARADOXES Both Spilos wave at ya and say 'hi' in unison

I insert an old floppy disk

 

[unknownaspect]

Out comes Furrypile v0.8 DOS version. Now comes in 16 colours!

I insert a blank floppy disk.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes KORAAAAK-KAAK, KORAAAAK-KAAK. KORAAAK-KAAAK. CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH CH
...crap.

I insert another blank disk, maybe this one will not be faulty?

 

[unknownaspect]

Out pops a copy of UFO: Enemy Unknown, albeit with a label written crudly in permanent marker. Sweet!

Inserts Elerium-115.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a lousy five thousand dollars. What a crap value transaction!

I insert some alien alloys.

 

[unknownaspect]

Out pops some personal armour! Huzzah! Death by plasma bolt is now only likely, not certain!

I insert some "Alien entertainment".

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a PSA paid for by the Council of Funding Nations. "This is your brain on alien entertainment".

I insert some HIDDEN MOVEMENT.
(clink clank clink clank clink clank pit pat pit pat pit pat pit pat PUJUM! UURGH!)

 

[unknownaspect]

Out comes a chryssalid! How adorable! Such a cutie. I want to pet....wait....ARGH!!!

I insert a heavy plasma, another heavy plasma and even more heavy plasma for good measure.

 

[Spilo]

Congratulations, you made Earth blow up



Sigh I insert a newly rebuilt Earth

 

[unknownaspect]

Out comes a brand new furry community! Welcome to Fluffymound! I am Undisclosedcharacteristic!

I insert a time crystal!

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a new agey faith healer who tries to use the time crystal to heal the spacetime braid where Biff got the sports almanac :O

I insert a space crystal.

 

[unknownaspect]

Out comes a classy space crystal radio set, for those old-timey space tunes when in old-timey space.

I insert an electrum coin.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes assay test results: 32% gold! What a crap value coin!

I insert a pithy ranty pamphlet, encouraging a mob of angry citizens to fall upon the royal mint.

 

[unknownaspect]

Out pops a tub of spearmint gum, by appointment to His Majesty, The King! I think the mob got the wrong idea!

Inserts a teeny, tiny pumpkin.