Out comes a very grumpy and sparkly vending machine technician. (that guy has it rough)

I insert a sleepy rat (it's me)
 
Out comes the dreams of people's pantries, all stocked with cheese (Get away from my dream cheese!).

Inserts a 4-dimensional tesseract.
 
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Oh, what could a skunk do with a tesser- proceeds to reach into everyone's spaces, pantries, yes even dream pantries, stocked with cheese and other foods, through the infinite doors of the 4 Dimension

I mean, out comes a 'thank you' note signed with a smiley skunk and a ':3'

I insert silliness, cuz why the hell not! :3
 
Silly string! Silly string everywhere! Ah! Nothing gets a party started like sticky goo that smells like industrial chemicals! None of this is skunk scented, right?

Inserts that strange, overbearing feeling that you may very well be watched at this very moment.
 
You are prompted on whether you wish to clear your browser. Those cookies really add up.

I insert a flapjack (UK version, not a pancake)
 
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Out comes a skunk flashing his g... Mooning everyone with his bare butt :3 (What, you said instructive thoughts!)

Inserts a mysterious USB stick
 
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Out comes some random person's boring old invoices in pdf format.

I insert a slice of dream cheese (I just could not eat it all, I'm stuffed) :O
 
Out comes a seemingly endless stream of street rats that flow from every direction towards the vending machine.

I insert the latest issue of Street Rat Monthly.
 
The machine spits out whatever that is, but shredded... hey at least it's nesting material! It instead hands an issue of Skunk Street Dumpster Guide, which will guide you to the best dumpsters around town, a bit more useful I would say

I insert the last drop of yogurt I stole, ehem, bought from the vending machine before any rat could get to it :3 Waddles away
 
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While inserting yourself you break your ALBINO potion vial and become pure white. Now while being pulled out by me, you're accidentally coated in black OREO cookie dust. HENCEFORTH...when I pull you out, I pull out a true OREO: a sweet little one who is black on the outside, and white on the inside.

I insert my last catnip baggie, for safekeeping while I go down that dark alley...
 
Out comes a sleepy vending machine opossum. He's wearing a stripy night cap with a pompom on it and is carrying a candle in a little candle holder.

I insert myself, as an oreo it is my purpose to delight people by getting vended out of the vending machine.
 

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