The Vending Machine Mk. II

[Mambi]

Out comes a large blocky dragon...shooting fire everywhere!!!

I insert some marshmallows on a stick, waving at the ender dragon to shoot some flames my way.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a peevish dragonic voice, telling you to roast your own damn marshmallows. Can't you see he is busy roasting a hobbit burglar.

I insert a team of brave albeit prone-to-bickering adventurers, consisting of a hobbit burglar and several dwarves.

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

Lord of the Rings from wish.com falls out.

I insert a NERF gun!

 

[Spilo]

You get NERF gun darts THROWN AT YOU from the opening of the vending machine. Oh sh@&t some are filled with skunk spray... Run!!!

I insert a cool guy myself! :3

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

Out comes a fungi :P

I insert dank memes, the smokeable variety.

 

[Spilo]

Out comes a fungi :P

I insert dank memes, the smokeable variety.

You get a high as f skunk! Blows a weed smoke ring

I insert my finest weed, along with a bit of 'nip

 

[Mambi]

Out pops a very excited cat sniffing the air and drooling.

I insert myself into the machine...to get more of this fine nip and weed. It takes several tries to pull me loose before my grip breaks...

 

[metatherat]

Out comes beads of sweat on everyone's animal-forehead.

I insert a pair of industrial-grade cat-removal tongs.

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

The vet's ass-thermometer comes out. Wonder how that got there...

I drop a frog in, with a wet plop.

 

[Mambi]

Out comes a prince, lips puckered eager to kiss you.

I insert another whole fully-loaded vending machine, to mess with the fabric of spacetime!!

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

The Tenth Doctor pokes his head out of the mess and scolds you for disturbing his lunch break.

I insert a Panzerkampfwagen VIII Maus.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a shopkeeper's terrified yell. It came from the metallic cheese shop :O

I insert an attractive frog.

 

[Spilo]

Out comes @Guifrog I guess. Because I cannot think of any other attractive frog right now xD

Aaaaa I insert @Ravofox and @Lenago, two our many resident foxes :P

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

I suppose I fall out, seeing as I am a folf.

I steal @Spilo 's cactus and put it in.

 

[Faust]

Out comes Cactuar



I insert a sword too ludicrously immense for anyone to lift, let alone wield.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes Buster....
Harry Buster.

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I insert a fish that carries a lantern and a knife.

 

[Universe]

Out comes an axe crazy veporeon.

I insert a plushie.

 

[Daimyo_Ronin]

A plushie fur falls onto the floor. it looks around, gives you a free Snorlax plushie, and runs off.

I insert this abomination:

 

[Faust]

Out comes a teenager, prepped and ready for his first date.

In goes Elon Musk's milk teeth.

 

[Mambi]

Out comes a boxing glove...to retrieve some more of them.

I insert a copy of "The Art of the Deal", soaked in urine and orphan sweat.