Wait, those are the two options? I can't just... sue my neighbour for damages? Or shove the hamsters through his letterbox? Or send them to a REAL pet sanctuary? Frankly, I'd be more likely to sit the hamsters down with a bowl of normal hamster chow, say "It's this or you starve", then look after the ones that survived. They'd eat once they got hungry enough. Possibly each other, but hey! That's fewer mouths to feed. Or I could feed the cocaine to the hamsters. Then I could be a coked-up hamster dealer to the rich and powerful.
Oh well, that's not how you play the game. Let's see.
I think I'd go with the crypto scam. As unpleasant and scummy as those things are, I just couldn't bring myself to ruin people's lives and health by dealing a dangerous addictive substance. At least a crypto scam only hurts their wallets - and frankly, they're practically legal. Just look at meme coin stocks, those might as well be scams for the way they operate. So I guess you'd better be ready for HamCoin and endless near-identical hamster NFTs in the 'Bored Ape' mould. I could put them in little costumes and everything. Heck, I could just sell the bloody hamsters, things have gotten so crazy now people might actually start using rodents as currency!
Now!
Would you rather marry a drop-dead gorgeous trophy husband / wife who is amazing at the sex but does absolutely nothing else around the house other than watch TV and go to the gym, or a really industrious person who does all the housework, has a career, helps pay the bills and is an amazing cook, but is average-looking at best and also a total prude who refuses to do anything more adventurous in the bedroom than vanilla missionary?
