Jokes Thread (Bad puns encouraged!)

[Faust]

What's the only event that you fervently hope will not go off without a hitch?

Your wedding.

 

[Yastreb]

English people are always talking about how wet their weather is, but German weather is certainly Wetter.

 

[Faust]

Why did the catholic priest explode when he used his sermon to belittle the congregation?

He reached a critical mass.

 

[Mambi]

When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, doesn't that mean you BECOME a vacuum cleaner? <blink-blink>

 

[metatherat]

When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, doesn't that mean you BECOME a vacuum cleaner? <blink-blink>

Careful, you will scare yourself :O

 

[Faust]

When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, doesn't that mean you BECOME a vacuum cleaner? <blink-blink>

They follow vampire rules.

 

[Faust]

Did you hear that Han Solo and Chewbacca are organising an outdoor festival for bounty hunters that like tea and tapioca pearls?

It's a Boba Fete!

 

[Faust]

Who do Dark Side Jedi buy their lightsabers from?

Darth Mall.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

There's been an organizational shift at Old Macdonald's Farm.

They hired a new C-I-E-I-O.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

((Well I saw a couple raunchy ones in here already, so...))

A friend went to a club last night.

They played "The Twist" and the friend did the twist.

They played "Macarena" and the friend did the Macarena.

They played "Jump Around" and the friend jumped around.

They played "Dancing in the Dark" and the friend danced in the dark.

They played "Come on Eileen"... the friend and the club are now being sued.



* Artists for the songs in question: "Chubby Checker", "Los Del Rio", "House of Pain", "Bruce Springsteen", "Dexy's Midnight Runners"