NSFW The corrupted wish game, NSFW allowed

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but unfortunately when shot with the ray gun they turn into horny dogs who only humps your leg

I wish I could be a horny version of the Remarkable Hare

 

[Mambi]

I wish to invent the horniification ray gun! You shoot someone with it, and it makes them super-horny for the target of your choice, or just in general.

Trey Parker beat you to the punch in the movie "Orgasmo":

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View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLeMpEUZRBA

I wish I could be a horny version of the Remarkable Hare

GRANTED! <the genie goes to act, stops himself after seeing your regular levels of horniness, and just shrugs and nods instead...>

I wish I could be desired by most who see me...

 

[Faust]

Granted! You are now a Spicy McRib Sandwich!

I wish for... er... a Spicy McRib Sandwich!

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but now you are allergic to the spice and has now lost all your furriness!

I wish @Faust would regain his furriness, I miss him

 

[metatherat]

Granted, but now there is bat-fur everywhere! You can't even see the floor :O

I wish a kindly old grandmother would wander in and knit us all some bat-fur sweaters :3

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but she's so slow they never fit as we keep growing

I wish we could all go to the Olympics

 

[Mambi]

GRANTED!! <the cat's eyes glow as a shimmering portal opens before us. You look inside the opening to see a bunch oh ancient cloth-wearing men running on an oval track with toga-wearing crowds cheering in a dusty stone coliseum. The cat blushes and shrugs>

OOPS, wrong century...ah well, still wanna see 'em?


While you decide, I wish I had a cottage in Equestria from My Little Pony.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but it is in a bowl....oops NOT cottage cheese

I wish I had cheesy breadsticks

 

[Katara the Sergal]

Granted, but they translated in incorrectly and now it bounces. Sticks, bounces, sticks as they translated it as glue

I wish I could ride a roomba to work

Granted - your job is robot combat, where they saw and tear one another apart and set one another on fire. Did you win, though?

I wish I could touch anything I wanted. Just anything. Including body parts. Or bank vaults, so I can afford to touch body parts. Like I can touch anything, just play with it or grab it, and it's as though everyone around me either ignores me, or enjoys it.

 

[Katara the Sergal]

WHOOPS. I responded to an old post, apparently?

Ugh. Fuck me. Ignore it! I thought I had something funny to say, and I was ages late to the joke.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

WHOOPS. I responded to an old post, apparently?

Ugh. Fuck me. Ignore it! I thought I had something funny to say, and I was ages late to the joke.

I enjoyed the answer!

Granted, but everything you touch turns to gold..... Damn Midas touch

I wish I could walk on water

 

[Faust]

OOPS, wrong century...ah well, still wanna see 'em?

She would. Ancient Greek athletes performed naked. The word 'Gymnasium' comes from words meaning 'a place to train while nude'.

I wish I could walk on water

Granted! Your body repels moisture so hard that you can physically walk on its surface. Unfortunately this also applies to water inside you, so whenever you drink it immediately comes squirting out of your nose at high velocity.

I wish I stayed perfectly clean even without having to shower.

 

[Spilo]

Granted! You're always perfectly clean, squeaky clean even, with not signs of filth at all... but somehow, you still SMELL like you haven't showered in days :P

Is it the curse of a skunk? Or a regular stink curse?

I wish there was a soap that turned furs and people into rubber versions of themselves! Now that's squeaky clean... figuratively and literally! :D

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but @Wuff-Wuff now chews them all and swallows the squeakers

I wish I had a rubber fuck named Sal

 

[Faust]

I wish I had a rubber fuck named Sal

I'm not sure if that was intentional or freudian.

Oh well, granted anyway! But he's the bad kind of fuck. calls you names, bums cigarettes all the time, never helps with the washing up, and he keeps saying 'Fuggettaboutit' in a broad New York accent for some reason.

I wish for all slips to be freudian, including when people slip on banana skins, and the underwear kind of slips.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

(it was not intentional!)

Granted, but you can never go on vacation because you slipped up and forgot to reserve your place

I wish I could go to Jamaica

 

[Faust]

Granted! Welcome to Dresden, home of the best Jar Makers in the world!
(Kinda going easy on you here, as Dresden is also a lovely place to visit. Hope you speak German though!)

I wish for a jelly bean machine gun.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but because of the heat the jelly beans melt in the magazine jamming the gun

I wish for a jam sandwich

 

[Mambi]

GRANTED! <the vending machine dispenses a sandwich...that gets caught mid-fall JAMmed between the coil and the glass. Your JAM sandwich, enjoy.>

I wish I had a turkey sandwich with cheese.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Granted, but since they forgot to klll the turkey you have to chase it in order to get your sandwich