The Vending Machine Mk. II

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a 5 star duck general ordering the bunny to his place



Inserts @Guifrog lilypad

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Out comes blotting paper, nicely spaced out in little rectangles and coverd in colourful psychedelic drawings, for some reason

I insert the blarney stone

 

[metatherat]

Out comes herpes.

I insert the shenanigans stone.

 

[Faust]

Out comes the worst Indiana Jones movie yet!

I was going to insert a bull whip and a fedora, but Indie took them so here’s a riding crop and a homburg.

 

[Mambi]

Out pops an over-excited leather-clad Twilight Sparkle.

I insert a few bits of fur from random creatures found on the floor.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a mutt, a lovable loyal mutt

*inserts Applejacks mane and Rairty's mane

 

[Faust]

Out comes the Mane Man, a superhero made entirely from horsehair.

In goes some of Spiderman's webbing, some iron-man filings, a few mils of Hullk sweat and Batman's daddy issues.

 

[Mambi]

Out comes "Tarantula". Black Tarantula - Wikipedia

I insert myself...just portaled right inside! Dunno why either...

 

[Spilo]

You get the company of a skunk who just so happened to be sleeping there already.

Uhh, sorry my snout is touching your bum, it's very cramped in here. I get out, but not before giving a discreet sniff and blushing

I insert... myself again, because it's late and I have to sleep. Hopefully the next person inserts a pillow or something :3

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a vending machine technician with a broom. "Out, get out of here, you mangy animals! This is not your home, get out! Damn beasts."

I insert a grungy punk opossum.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a Nirvana cover band consisting of 3 opossums and a raccoon

inserts a box of valentine chocolates

 

[Faust]

Out comes a court order demanding you stay 100 metres away from the vending machine at all times. Romance is dead.

In goes a piece of bent wire - I'm trying to winkle those chocolates back out of the slot. Waste not, want not!

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a velvet covered wire in the shape of a heart attached to the box of chocolates

inserts cupid

 

[Faust]

Wait, don't put that little shit in there, he's a troublemaker! Haven't you read the myths?!
Ak, too late. Now everything that comes out is already in love with the person who bought it, whether they like it or not.
You just created the Stalker Gacha Station.

In goes a healthy dose of Agent Orange, that should smoke the little bugger out.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a weasel in a gas mask making love to an orange

inserts a fruit basket

 

[metatherat]

Out comes ANIMAL TRANSFORMATION. (yaayy!) and also some EMOTIONAL HARDSHIPS THAT REQUIRE A COMPASSIONATE ANIME GIRL TO GET RESOLVED (that we could have done without)

I insert a sign saying "HELP WANTED: COMPASSIONATE ANIME GIRL"

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes 404 Server not found

*reinserts a sign saying "HELP WANTED: COMPASSIONATE ANIME GIRL"

 

[Faust]

Out comes a compassionate Anime girl. They DO exist. Unfortunately, they are universally clumsy and incompetent at everything and only ever make matters worse. This one's called Nauko (because I've been watching Dino Girl Gauko).

In goes the charred remains of the first person to annoy her.

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a horde of gremlins hell bent on burning Nauko

inserts a used wristband soaked in beer
(I'm Clumsy... Okay?

 

[metatherat]

Out comes that wily cupid who is wearing a gas mask, a rubber suit and also now wearing the used beer-soaked wristband as a headband.

I insert a love letter from Psyche.