The Vending Machine Mk. II
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Out comes pinkie pie!!
Inserts whatever's making these holes in my garden (probably spiders, #Straya
)
Inserts whatever's making these holes in my garden (probably spiders, #Straya
) 
Out comes... your home address. Because geotracking has gotten so good, and the secret ant society living in your backyard wants to exert vengeance on you for exposing their secret hole entrances to the rest of the secret enemy ant societies around the world. Essentially, ant business 
I insert a Tanuki leaf
I insert a Tanuki leaf
Out comes a new sports drink: Tanuki Sweat. Taste the tanuki!
I insert an old shopping bill.
I insert an old shopping bill.
Out comes a very heavily stoned gnome, eyes red and heavy as he stares blankly and drools. He is clearly, like...gone, maaan!
I insert a clump of topsoil from the garden that was his original home.
Out comes a garden gnome riding a toad. Watch out, he's got a spear :O
I insert a heroic mole armed with a halberd.
I insert a heroic mole armed with a halberd.
Out comes a saftey booklet, written in Braille, on how not to poke your fellow mole.
I insert my memories of the furrypile, back when it was recovering from a hack.
I insert my memories of the furrypile, back when it was recovering from a hack.
Out come all of your dear furry furpals, who HUG AND LICK YOU :O
I insert all of us snuggly fuzzy furpals over here in the furrypile :3