The Vending Machine Mk. II
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Out comes pinkie pie!!
Inserts whatever's making these holes in my garden (probably spiders, #Straya
)
Inserts whatever's making these holes in my garden (probably spiders, #Straya
) 
Out comes... your home address. Because geotracking has gotten so good, and the secret ant society living in your backyard wants to exert vengeance on you for exposing their secret hole entrances to the rest of the secret enemy ant societies around the world. Essentially, ant business 
I insert a Tanuki leaf
I insert a Tanuki leaf
Out comes a new sports drink: Tanuki Sweat. Taste the tanuki!
I insert an old shopping bill.
I insert an old shopping bill.
Out comes an angry vending machine gnome who kicks you in the foot.
I insert a gust of GNOME-B-GONE SPRAY
I insert a gust of GNOME-B-GONE SPRAY
Out comes a very heavily stoned gnome, eyes red and heavy as he stares blankly and drools. He is clearly, like...gone, maaan!
I insert a clump of topsoil from the garden that was his original home.
Out comes a saftey booklet, written in Braille, on how not to poke your fellow mole.
I insert my memories of the furrypile, back when it was recovering from a hack.
I insert my memories of the furrypile, back when it was recovering from a hack.
Out come all of your dear furry furpals, who HUG AND LICK YOU :O
I insert all of us snuggly fuzzy furpals over here in the furrypile :3
Out comes a toblerone, but it's one from when they made the gaps huge and everyone bullied them to change it back again
On a similar note...
Inserts a can of the notorious 'New Coke' from 1985 catch the wave
On a similar note...
Inserts a can of the notorious 'New Coke' from 1985 catch the wave
out comes a piece of paper which reads "SHYEAYAH RIGHT! CATCH THE WAVE OF SHIT!!"On a similar note...
Inserts a can of the notorious 'New Coke' from 1985 catch the wave
I insert an AI-generated picture depicting a six-fingered Santa Claus drinking a bottle of Coca Cola, but the bottle is melding with his lower lip and also there is a blurry Santa/reindeer hybrid in the background that can be seen by an eagle-eyed observer, or pretty much anyone with eyes
Out comes... Coca Cola's latest AI generated ad, unsurprisingly. Not much is different, actually; just corporate greed and laziness aka "cheer"
I insert a sealed jar with mysterious sickly green gas swirling inside.
I insert a sealed jar with mysterious sickly green gas swirling inside.
Out comes a mysterious wizard, who is making many mysterious hand movements over the jar while having a stern expression.
I insert a thanksgiving turkey. His name is "Thanksy" and his hobby is ice hockey.
I insert a thanksgiving turkey. His name is "Thanksy" and his hobby is ice hockey.
Out comes a freshly baked, right out of the oven, still steaming, incredibly juicy and plump cooked turkey! That isn't thanksy, btw... it's a completely unrelated turkey :3
"Aww, for me?"
I insert the remnants of a thanksgiving dinner, bworrp!
"Aww, for me?"
I insert the remnants of a thanksgiving dinner, bworrp!